And now your late night post…
Tonight fans we have a special episode of Science! with Jean. Fans, this afternoon we received a somewhat disgruntled message from a gentleman I will call “Lloyd”. Lloyd had a number of complaints, but the one of merit that warrants our discussion this evening is as follows:
“also i have just found out something very interesting……it was on FB abt a panther fox and it being the only one in the U.S. that they know of……well i have a friend that works at the zoo and he said he has never heard of one and would check for me…well he called back and said there is no such thing…wow can you believe that…seems like there was a lie printed…unless you can prove to me they are panther foxes…can u…..well seeing how this lady talked to me and you showing no remorse over the way she talked….im calling the nashville BBB and tell them”.
Well kids, since this is an episode of “Science! with Jean” and not “Remedial English!” so we’ll just stick to the science part of the evening.
You see, kids, panthers and foxes cannot really breed, and so I must regretfully report that the South American panther fox is not a real animal and we made it up. Foxes and panthers are not capable of breeding. Since I don’t want to bore anyone with fancy book learnin’, I’ll just say this topic was well-covered by South Park when they pointed out that elephant and pig DNA just won’t splice. Even if you did get a panther and fox to make sweet love, basic genetics rules out the existence of a South American panther fox. Sorry kids, no panther foxes exist.
Don’t fret though, because we totally have a Nepalese silver-coated lemur fox (Latin name eatius rabbitus) that will possibly be available for adoption. He’s in foster with an employee of Acme who swears he is a certified genius. I swear this is totally legit. Interested adopters should email firstname.lastname@example.org.