Late Night Post … Colin

And now your late night post…

In keeping with the theme of public shame, tonight’s post is about dog pee. I am fostering Colin, who is rapidly becoming one of my favorites. Colin is a 4 year old basset sheltie collie something who came out of a hoarding case with six other dogs.

Colin was supposed to have been neutered before he came to us. Imagine my surprise when I discovered he was still possessed of the family jewels. He is marking all over while he looks for a date and that could not continue. Ordinarily, I would simply get him neutered and be done with it, but no, he just went through heartworm treatment recently and cannot be put under anesthesia for a while. So we resorted to belly bands to control the marking.

Belly bands for the uninitiated are basically wraps with velcro ends that wrap around a male dog’s stomach and over the penis to keep him from peeing on things. One thing needs to be clarified. It does not stop them from peeing – just peeing on things. Colin is happy to pee on himself. I think this may be a guy thing.

The belly band has a small pouch on it which I guess is supposed to absorb pee. If that’s the idea, it’s ludicrously inadequate. So we tried putting washcloths in the area over his penis. This made him happy and made my husband make cracks about his extensive package, but it really didn’t absorb much.

Desperation is in fact the mother of invention, so I decided that I would try maxi pads stuck to the inside. This worked OK, but he still soaked it quickly. A trip to Target was in order.

Imagine my surprise to realize that maxipads are in the same aisle as Depends. I guess we just move from being on our period to menopause and then peeing on ourselves, so they have conveniently located all products we women could need in one place next to each other.

I examined all the options. Should I buy overnight maxi pads with wings or Poise pads? By the way, “Poise pads” sounds awful so if you are the marketing guy behind this, I award you a demerit. As if you are going to be standing there all gracefully at the board meeting while you pee on yourself if you wear “Poise Pads”.

As I compared specs (how many ccs of liquid does this one hold?) I realized I was kind of making a spectacle of myself. I decided the solution was to buy Depends maximum strength and overnight maxipads with wings. This should cover all my bases.

I will say that the guy at the cash register did look at me weirdly. You know he totally thought I was on my period and peeing on myself. It is amazing what I do for rescue.

PS Ladies – I can now tell you maxipads with wings for overnight absorbs more liquid. This is good information in case I ever have to pee on myself and don’t want the embarassment of buying Poise Pads.