Shakespeare’s lost first draft of the scene between Ophelia and Hamlet where he denies ever having loved her.
ACT III
SCENE I. A room in the castle.
Hamlet:
I did love you once. Even though your ears are enormous.
Ophelia:
(Ears erect, eyes wide with surprse). Indeed, my lord, you made me believe so. And my ears are not enormous.
Hamlet:
You should not have believed me, for your giant ears cannot so
inoculate our old stock but we shall relish our long floppy ears. I loved you not.
Ophelia:
(Growling) I was the more deceived.
Hamlet:
Get thee to a puppery, why woulds’t thou be a breeder of
bat-eared sinners? What? Ophe—–
Ophelaia:
(Mauls Hamlet for his insensitivity)
End of scene.
For those wondering, Ophelia is 12 weeks old, she weighs a mere 8 pounds +/-, she is a corgi/Australian cattle dog and she needs a foster in Nashville. If you can foster this dog, email jillian@bigfluffydogs.com. If you are wondering if I am drinking heavily, alas, I am not.